Home > Weekends of Recovery > 2012 Weekends of Recovery: Alta Advanced Weekend of Recovery

MaleSurvivor Advanced Weekend of Recovery
"Dare to Dream"
Join us for a beautiful fall weekend at
Alta Lodge, Alta, Utah (near Salt Lake City, Utah)
August 17-19, 2012


Save $50 by registering early!




Male Survivor is excited to announce our seventh Advanced Weekend of Recovery for Male Survivors of Sexual Abuse, and our third Relationship Enhancement Weekend! All alumni who want a safe place to focus on relationship building and deepening the level of intimacy in your relationships are welcome to participate in this advanced weekend, whether you are single or partnered.

If you have a partner, they are welcome and encouraged – but not required - to join you. It is not a requirement for your partner to have attended a Level One Weekend; to be eligible, only you need to have attended a Level One Weekend.

If you are single and want to explore your relationship building skills, this weekend is designed to help you as well.

Advanced Weekends are expanded to begin on Friday morning at 9:30 am and to end at 2 pm on Sunday. We encourage you to arrive on Thursday, and registration will be open on Thursday evening for all participants. Special package rates will be available to all who arrive on Thursday, and will include your meals prior to the actual beginning of the weekend on Friday morning. We anticipate our earlier ending on Sunday will allow for easier travel arrangements possible on Sunday for east coast participants.

This is our 9th visit to Alta Lodge which tells you how much we love the facility, its extremely supportive and nurturing staff, and the gorgeous surroundings. Alta Lodge is located at 8,600 feet (2,700 meters) at the base of the Alta Ski Area in Utah's Wasatch Mountains. Alta Lodge, nestled in a quaint alpine setting at the top of Little Cottonwood Canyon, offers spectacular mountain views. During the summer months, the mountain meadows abound in gorgeous wild flowers, adding to the beauty of this setting. Alta Lodge is part of a rare tradition of country inns where the attentiveness and warmth of family hoteliers is combined with the pleasures of excellent dining and comfortable surroundings. The atmosphere of the Alta Lodge is relaxed, intimate and informal.

Goals of the Advanced Weekend on Relationship Building and Deepening the Level of Intimacy in Your Relationships

Our goals, based on your previous feedback and on discussions among our facilitators, are to help you leave the weekend with:

  1. Increased awareness and understanding of the impact of abuse on building and enhancing intimacy
  2. Enhanced ability to connect with other male survivors and their partners, with an intimate partner, with the significant people in your life, and with your own inner experience
  3. Practical skills for
    1. Ensuring safety
    2. Building and enhancing the intimacy in your life and working together with a partner to further your healing
  4. The power to identify and remove psychological, emotional and spiritual blocks to your healing process
  5. If you are a partner of a male survivor, to gain additional support and skills to enhance your own self care and deepen intimacy in relationships.

Facilitator Team:

Weekends of Recovery are facilitated by trained psychotherapists, utilizing the same clinical boundaries and code of ethics as adopted by the American Psychological Association. The weekends are adjuncts to participants’ ongoing recovery work with individual and/or group psychotherapy, twelve step programs, and individual spiritual work, and are not meant to substitute for the participants’ local support systems that are consistent with their own recovery. Dr. Howard Fradkin, a Psychologist and Jim Struve, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, both with over 30 years of experience working with male survivors, co-chair the facilitator team. This weekend will be co-chaired by both individuals. The team of facilitators includes other Psychologists, Social Workers, Marriage and Family Therapists, Mental Health Counselors and a Body Awareness Specialist. The rest of the team for the Alta Advanced Weekend of Recovery includes: Lee Beckstead, Bill Burmester, Joanna Colrain, Andy Dishman, Sandi Forti, Rob Hawkings, Paul Linden, Lynne MacDonell, Ernesto Mujica and Mikele Rauch. Peter Botteas is an alternate facilitator for the Advanced Weekend and we hope he will be a member of the team as well.

Schedule For the Weekend (Subject to changes and modification)


8:00 – 9:00Breakfast & Registration
9:00 – 9:30Break
9:30 – 10:15Intro to Alta and the weekend
10:15 – 11:15Safety & Mindfulness
11:15 – 11:30Break
11:30 – 12:45Intro of participants
12:45 – 1:00Break
1:00 – 2:00Lunch
2:00 – 2:15Break
2:15 – 3:30Experiential Cognitive/Somatic Workshop
3:30 – 4:30Warming up to the topic of communication within relationships
4:30 – 5:00Break
5:00 – 6:15Small Groups: #1 Developing Intentions for the Weekend
6:15 – 6:30Break
6:30 – 7:30Dinner
7:30 – 8:00Break
8:00 – 9:30Art Project: Processing feelings and intention through non verbal expression - No art experience or talent needed.
9:30 – 9:45Bedtime Story


6:30 a.m.Gather for carpool
7-8 a.m.Optional Sitting Meditation at Devil’s Castle
9-9:15Check in
9:15 – 11:15Developing Tools for Healthy Relationships
12:30 – 1:00Break
1:-3:30Lunch & social –
3:30 – 5:15Sculpting: Understanding and Working through Blocks to Communication
5:15 - 5:30break
5:30 – 6:30Small groups #2
6:30 – 6:45Break
6:45 – 7:30Dinner
8:00 – 10:00Experiential Workshop: Developing Safety and Exploring Connection through Movement
10- 10:15Break
10:15 – 11:15Optional Pipe ceremony
11:15 – 12:00Facilitator Meeting


7:00 - 8:00Optional morning mediation walk
8:15 -8:30Check in
8:30 – 10:15Session: Circles of Love
10:15 – 10:30Break
10:30 – 11:30Famous Alta Brunch – Deck Room
11:45 – 12:45small group #3
12:45 – 1:00Break
1:00- 2:00Closing

Is this Advanced Weekend for me/us? How Can I Prepare for the Weekend?

Obviously this will need to be an individual decision for each one of you. If you are in an intimate relationship, we invite you to discuss this opportunity with your partner. You’ll want to consider the opportunity here for each of you to grow and change as well as for your relationship to be changed through the process too. With every opportunity for growth, there will also be challenges you will each face as you come more into awareness of your own feelings and thoughts and those of your partner. You’ll also have to decide whether both of you will attend, which we encourage if you both feel ready. If you decide the two of you are not ready to attend together, it is also absolutely okay for the male survivor who has attended a Level I weekend to still attend this weekend and bring back a greater readiness for deeper intimacy.

If you are single, and have been struggling with developing and building intimacy, this weekend may be a great next right step for you. We’ll help you look at what blocks you may be placing in your way, as well as give you opportunities to practice the skills necessary to begin new intimate relationships. We’ll also look at what types of behaviors you can utilize to build on the intimacy in your life.

As in the past, our primary focus will be on safety. However, we are also structuring this Advanced Weekend to be a place where you can challenge some of your previous safe boundaries which may have kept you more distant from others. For instance, there will be a much greater emphasis on activities that involve being in touch with your body and how to feel safe and powerful inside. To do this, we will invite you to engage in more challenges to your previous ideas of what you needed to feel safe. In this weekend, we are scheduling activities that will involve the opportunity to be in safe emotional and non-erotic physical contact with other participants and with your intimate partner if available. We will help you to increase your awareness of and respect your own physical contact needs and boundaries, while giving yourself permission to expand on these to the extent you are able. It is also likely you will face challenges to removing some more of the old blocks that keep getting in your way. It will be your choice to what degree you want to participate, and we hope each of you will find ways to challenge yourself to go a little further in your healing process.

We encourage you to talk with your support system (spouses, significant others, therapists, allied healers, 12 step sponsors and friends, group members) as well as to explore inside to help you determine before the weekend what your own challenges and growth edges will be for the weekend. If you are attending as a couple, we invite you to talk with each other about what challenges you want to address together during the weekend. If you are single, or not able to bring your partner with you, we invite you to consider what goals you have to improve the intimacy in your life. As in previous weekends, we will also ask any of you in therapy to provide a letter of recommendation from your therapist (you can download this letter at www.malesurvivor.org or by clicking on this link: http://www.malesurvivor.org/forms/Advanced-Weekend-Therapist-Letter.pdf.

Survivors with perpetration history:

As with Level One, we will again abide by our same policy regarding survivors with perpetration history. Any person who has been adjudicated (found guilty) of sexual perpetration would not be eligible for participation in the weekends. Because many survivors have sexually acted out in childhood, adolescence or even young adulthood, we do not wish to automatically exclude them from a Weekend of Recovery. However, to assess each participant on a case-by-case basis, we want to be able to discuss perpetration history with them and their therapist. This means that in order to assure other participants that we have their safety in mind, we want to be able to screen anyone with such a history to determine if attending a weekend is in their best interest and the best interest of all participants. We encourage all potential participants to be honest when we call you about any such incidents in your past. In such cases, an interview with the Weekends of Recovery Chairperson will be required before you will be accepted. Even if you have already been interviewed by Howard or Jim for a previous weekend, we are requiring you to talk with Howard or Jim before participating in this Advanced Weekend. This interview and screening process will help us to make the weekend safe for everyone who attends.

Registration Options and Costs

Registration will be limited to the first 38 registrants.

Registration includes the costs of the facilitated Weekend of Recovery program, with our 11 skilled facilitators from the MaleSurvivor Weekend of Recovery Facilitator Team, plus lodging, 6 meals, and snacks.

Water, juices, tea and coffee, and a snack bag will be available throughout the weekend. We have a variety of accommodations in the lodge. If you are not a MaleSurvivor member, we encourage you to join the organization prior to registration both to secure a significant discount and to help support the work of MaleSurvivor. If you are bringing your partner, s/he is of course welcome to support our organization by joining as a paying member. However, Spouses and Significant others will be charged at the Member rate IF the male survivor alumnus is a PAID member of MaleSurvivor.

Because the official weekend program will begin at 9:30 a.m. on Friday, it is advisable that you plan to arrive in Salt Lake City on Thursday. Alta Lodge has arranged to make rooms and food available for Thursday evening. In addition, rooms and meals will be available on Sunday for anyone who wishes to stay over until Monday morning. Therefore, we have expanded our registration to provide package options for anyone wishing to arrive at Alta Lodge on Thursday evening and/or stay over Sunday night. All package deals described on the grid below include the costs of the program itself.

Review the chart below to determine which option works best for you. There are also many hotels near the Salt Lake City International Airport and in the downtown area if you prefer budget lodging for either Thursday or Sunday. It is approximately 40 minutes from either the airport or downtown to Alta Lodge.

Advanced Weekend of Recovery Registration Package Options (“X” indicates what is included for each option).

NOTE: Option A is the basic package for attending the Advanced Weekend of Recovery. Options B, C, D, E, F & G allow for add-on packages of room and food at Alta Lodge for participants who arrive on Thursday and/or stay over until Monday.

Couples may register for single rooms, as each room does have a king bed. Please note, however, that you must register individually, as the price quoted below is per person.

Opt. A:

Wknd Only
Opt. B:
Advanced Wknd
+ Thurs. Lodging
& Dinner*
+ Fri Bkfst.
Opt. C:

Advanced Wknd
+ Thurs. Lodging
& Dinner*
+ Fri. Bkfst
+ Sun. Lodging &
+ Mon. Bkfst
Opt. D:
Advanced Wknd
+ Thurs. Lodging &
Fri. Bkfst
Opt. E:
Advanced Wknd
+ Thurs. Lodging
+ Fri. Bkfst
+ Sun Lodging &
+ Mon Bkfst
Opt. F:
Advanced Wknd
+ Sun. Lodging
& Dinner
+ Mon. Bkfst.
Opt. G:
Advanced Wknd
+ Fri. Bkfst
Fri. & Sat. Lodging X X X X X X X
Wknd Meals: Fri
Lunch thru Sun.
Thurs. Lodging X X X X
Sun. Lodging X X X
Thurs. Dinner X X
Fri. Bkfst X X X X X
Sun. Dinner X X X
Mon. Bkfst X X X

*Thursday Dinner Open from 6:30-8:00 pm; if you plan on arriving to Alta Lodge later than 8 pm, please choose an option that does not include Thursday dinner.

Advanced Weekend of Recovery Registration Costs

Below is a breakdown of the different room types and package options available (please refer to above chart that describes each of the 5 package options). There is a limited availability of each type of room selection – each type of accommodation will be distributed on a first come, first serve basis.

ROOM SELECTION DESCRIPTIONS: All rooms have private baths except for the dorm rooms (room selection #5), which has shared bath facilities. All rooms have a mountain view.

Room Selection #1:Corner Single Deluxe Bedroom, Private Balcony, Fireplace – East Wing
Room Selection #2:Single Bedroom, Standard King Bed - East or Middle Wing
Room Selection #3:Double Corner Deluxe Bedroom, with Sitting Area – Middle Wing
Room Selection #4:Double Standard Bedroom (1 Queen Bed and 1 Double Bed) Middle Wing
Room Selection #5:Triple/Quad Dorm Room, Shared Bath

The rates quoted below reflect early registration costs (with all payments due by June 17, 2012) and a MaleSurvivor member discount of $75. Registration after June 17nd will cost an additional $50.

REMINDER: Spouses and Significant others will be charged at the Member rate IF the male survivor alumnus is a PAID member of MaleSurvivor.



Option A

(Basic Package)

Option B

(Add-on lodging/meals)

Option C

(Add-on lodging/meals)

Option D

(Add-on lodging/meals)

Option E

(Add-on lodging/meals)

Option F

(Add-on lodging / meals)

Option G

(Add – on Fri.

Brkfst Only)








Non- Member









Room Selection #1















Room Selection #2















Room Selection #3















Room Selection #4















Room Selection #5















PLEASE NOTE: All meals are pre-paid with your registration and there are no refunds for meals you do not eat; likewise all extra nights lodging are pre-paid and there are no refunds for late arrivals or early departures.

If you are registering AFTER June 17th: Add $50 to all costs above.

To register for the weekend, we ask that you complete an online registration at and/or mail in a registration form. To hold your spot for the weekend, you will be charged $150 deposit when you register online. You will have the choice on the registration form to either prepay your registration in full at the time of registration or opt for a payment plan. Prior to June 17th if you opt for the payment plan, your total registration must be paid by June 17th and you will receive the $50 discount for early registration. In the case of you opting for the payment plan, you will provide your credit card to our confidential system, and your deposit will be charged the day you register. Your balance will be charged to your credit card as in two equal payments on June 17th and July 17th. If you register after June 17th, the entire balance will be charged on July 17. If you desire to pay by check, please contact our Community Outreach Director, Trisha Massa, to arrange this, at ytamassa@aol.com.

REGISTRATION AFTER June 17th: You are subject to a $50 fee for later registration. Your credit card will be charged $150 the day you register, unless you opt to pay in full. If you choose a payment plan, then the remainder of your balance will be charged to your credit card on July 17th. Your registration will be contingent upon receipt of all registration fees by July 17th.

CANCELLATION FEES: A $50 processing fee will be charged for any cancellations up until July 17th. Any cancellation after July 17th will result in the forfeiting of any and all payments made to MaleSurvivor, unless we are able to replace you with another participant. Refunds after July 17th will only be made if and when we have received payment in full for another participant, minus the $50 processing fee.


Chef Paul Raddon has been preparing meals of exceptional quality for Alta Lodge guests for over thirty years. The outstanding cuisine will certainly be one highlight of your Weekend of Recovery. A special treat is in store on Sunday, when we’ll get to visit the Alta Lodge Sunday Buffet, a grand buffet featuring gourmet breakfast and lunch and dessert items! All of your food and snacks are included in your registration fees. The Chef is prepared to provide vegetarian cuisine if you request it ahead of time. Other special dietary restrictions or needs must be indicated on your registration form. Bottled water, juices, coffee and tea, half and half and soy milk will be supplied all weekend long for you.

Other information about Alta Lodge:

No alcohol or un-prescribed drugs may be brought to the weekend. There is also a no smoking policy anywhere in the Lodge-including guest rooms, out of consideration for other guests. Cigar and pipe smoking are also prohibited. Guests may smoke outside the Lodge on the sundeck.

Please bring a jacket, hat, & some warm clothes if you are sensitive to the cold. Temperatures may be as low as the upper 40’s at night and should be in the 60’s & 70’s during the daytime. Average high temperature is 72, and average low is 50. Remember mountain air can feel chilly once the sun sets. Sunscreen is strongly advised - remember that sunrays are considerably more intense at mountain elevations. A hat with a brim is also very helpful to protect you from the sun.

Alta Lodge is handicap accessible, however if you have any special physical needs, please let us know at the time of registration so that we can make plans to accommodate your physical abilities.

There are some spectacular hiking trails around Alta. If you plan to participate in any hiking activities, please pack hiking boots (or shoes comfortable for easy & moderate hiking trails), a hiking stick (if you use one), & a day pack.

All bedding, towels, hair dryers, shampoo and shower gel are provided.


Alta Lodge is at 8500 feet altitude. It is not uncommon for people to experience minor physical symptoms above 8000 feet. (Symptoms can include headache, loss of appetite, & fatigue.) There are no specific factors such as age, sex, or physical condition that correlate with susceptibility to the effects of altitude.

Some people get it and some people don't, and some people are simply more susceptible than others. Here’s some tips for how to deal with any effects of altitude that you may experience during the retreat:

-Stay properly hydrated. Acclimatization is often accompanied by fluid loss, so you need to drink lots of fluids to remain properly hydrated.

-Take it easy; don't over-exert yourself when you first get up to altitude. Be prepared that tasks such as climbing stairs may require more physical exertion than you’re used to for the same task at

a lower elevation. Light activity during the day is better than sleeping because respiration decreases during sleep, exacerbating the symptoms.

-Avoid tobacco and alcohol and other depressant drugs including, barbiturates, tranquilizers, and sleeping pills. These depressants further decrease the respiratory drive during sleep resulting in a

worsening of the symptoms. The acclimatization process is inhibited by dehydration, over-

exertion, and alcohol and other depressant drugs.

-If you have any concerns about your susceptibility to the effects of altitude, please consult with your physician. Diamox (Acetazolamide) is a prescription medication that can moderate the side effects of altitude for most people. However, since it takes a while for Diamox to have an effect, it is advisable to start taking it 24 hours before you go to altitude.

WHEN TO ARRIVE AND DEPART: Arrival and Departure Policy

Because this is an Advanced Weekend, and because we are starting early on Friday, we encourage you to book a room at Alta Lodge prior to the start of the weekend, and you may also plan on staying over after the weekend. Options for the extra cost of room and food are included in the previous registration grid. Please note the facilitators will not be available to help on Thursday or Sunday evening, as we use this pre- and post weekend time to plan for future WOR’s.

Safety for all participants is our utmost concern. Therefore, it is a requirement that in order to participate in the weekend, participants must arrive at the beginning of the weekend, at our meeting room Our Lady of the Snows, at 9:30 am on Friday. The absolute deadline is 10:30 am on Friday, when the safety exercise begins. In planning your trip, you are expected to take into consideration the unpredictable delays that may accompany your travel. While we understand you may encounter delays for many reasons, we are unable to allow anyone to begin the weekend if you arrive later than 10:30 am on Friday. In other words, you cannot be admitted to the weekend after 10:30 am for any reason. If you are experiencing a delay, we request you to call us to inform us of your arrival status. It is important to understand that in the event of your inability to attend due to late arrival, you will forfeit all monies paid for your registration. One strategy to avoid this situation is to arrive in the city of the weekend the night before, and stay at Alta or some other hotel in the Salt Lake City area. Your consideration of this policy will help strengthen the feeling of safety for all participants and help us to build a community.

Regarding departure, we also request that if you are planning on attending the weekend, you plan to stay until the end at 2 pm. As you know from Level One, the end of the weekend is as important as the beginning, and for some participants, we know saying goodbye may be one of those growth areas you are more uncomfortable with. So if at all possible, please arrange your transportation accordingly so you and all of us can benefit from your participation the entire weekend.


The weekend begins at 9:30 am on Friday, and ends Sunday at 2 pm. Alta Lodge is only 32 miles from the Salt Lake City International Airport, generally a 45 to 60 minute shuttle van ride, and 40 minutes from downtown Salt Lake City. By car, the drive from either the airport or downtown is approximately 40 minutes. The final 8 miles of the drive is up a winding, but scenic canyon road. MaleSurvivor can arrange your transportation from Salt Lake International City Airport to the Alta Lodge through Alta Shuttle. The estimated cost is $32 per person each way (not including gratuity). Price is subject to change. You can make your own reservation at 1-866-274-0225 or www.altashuttle.com. Reservations must be made at least 24 hours in advance.

Rental car information is available at www.slcairport.com/transport/rentalcars. Once you register, we will send you a transportation form to fill out, and then we will do our best to provide free transportation to the center for anyone who requests it.

Nine airlines offer service to Salt Lake City International Airport:

American, Continental/United, Delta, Frontier, JetBlue, SkyWest, Southwest, and U.S Airways.

Given travel time, we recommend all participants plan to arrive on Thursday; and plan to depart on Sunday no earlier than a 4:00 pm flight from Salt Lake City. Please be sure to review our arrival policy below before making your travel plans. If you cannot accommodate your schedule to arrive and depart at these times, please be considerate and do not register. We also ask that all participants plan to stay until the end of the weekend on Sunday to allow you sufficient time for closure.


Salt Lake City is serviced by train on Amtrak (www.amtrak.com/destinations/index.html) .

Buses are provided by Greyhound (www.greyhound.com)

By car, Salt Lake City is accessed via I-80 (east-west) and I-15 (north-south)

Therapist Recommendation Letter:

When you register online and click on Weekends of Recovery, you will notice a tab that says “therapist letter of support”. Be sure you click on the Advanced Weekend letter of support, and not the Level I letter. We ask that all participants who are currently in therapy bring this letter to your therapist prior to the weekend, and ask them to complete it with you and send it back to us by August 5th. The information in this letter will help us to provide for any additional needs you may have for safety. It is our intention to use this letter to help ensure your safety, and in no way is it intended to disempower you or cast doubt on your own judgment about your readiness to participate in the weekend.


Questions can be directed to Trisha Massa, MaleSurvivor Community Outreach Director via email ytamassa@aol.com